The Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in Ireland
Meeting for Worship
Discussion memoir contributed by Patricia ni Choigligh to an Outreach meeting at Monkstown Meeting House, Dublin on October 1 2008, as a contribuion to the 'What do You Think?' series.
"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence." (Desiderata - Max Ehrmann)
Introduction
My account, like Adam's, is my personal story.I, too, am a "Quaker by Convincement" - a term, as described by Adam that is used by Quakers to describe those who come into (or join) the Society. This means that I was not reared by Quaker parents and I found Quakers, or as I often ask myself, did Quakers find me?
My search
The hunger within me to find a spiritual "refuge" or "home" would not go away. The day that I decided that I would do something about it happened when my daughter was singing in the school choir for a Holy Communion service at her school. I was not rearing my children as Catholics so she did not do her Holy Communion but sang in the school choir. The service was in Blackrock Church, the same church that had been both my local and school parish church in childhood. I sat in the side aisle, away from the main crowd. The children's voices floated from the gallery and I was filled with an urgent longing to find a place where I could feel the Spirit as I did on hearing the children's gentle longing voices, singing the songs I had learnt as a child and which connected me not only to my childhood memories but to the connection that I had felt as a child with the Spirit. I still carried it within me and it was time to nurture, explore and grow this connection.I had been very interested in the little I had read and learnt of Quakers, in particular the Peace Testimony and the work of Victor Bewley with the Travelling Community.
Here in Monkstown Meeting House in summer 2003 my journey ended (or so it seemed) when I attended my first Meeting for Worship. I soon found that while my search had ended, a new journey had begun. Here was my spiritual home. It reminded me of a time, shortly after my father died in 1994, when we booked a house in Cheshire, England, for a 2 week holiday with our children, then aged 3 and 1. Once the car was parked outside the house, I looked around and knew that I had "arrived". I belonged, I felt at peace. I wanted to be there, to be alive and to bring the goodness of the place with me in my heart when it was time to go home at the end of the holiday.
The experience of my first Quaker Meeting for Worship was similar, the search had ended, but it was not the end of the journey, but the start of many more. These new journeys include reading, making new friends, getting to know a cousin(!), involvement with committees and junior meetings - and at the heart of this and at the core of my connections with Quakerism is the Meeting for Worship. This is a talk about my experiences. I do refer to Quaker conventions in places - the leaflets available to take home contain more details on these.
Meeting for Worship - Why /what/where/when/who?
Quaker lives are grounded in the activity of worship. For well over 300 years, groups of people have met together in silence, with no trained leader and no liturgy or outward sacraments. Where do I fit in?Meeting for Worship at Monkstown Meeting House is on Sunday at 10.30. It lasts for one hour, followed by tea/coffee and chat. I go to Meeting, not out of a sense of duty but because I want to and need to. It is the the core of the Society's life and of my life. When things are falling apart, Meeting gives me courage to live my daily life. When things are going well, the Meeting will ground me.
As Adam has said, the "outward appearance" of Meeting is that very little happens.
What I have found is that Meeting for worship is an experience of living, which means that I cannot adequately describe it as the only way to find out what it means to you is to attend an actual Meeting.
"Our life is love, and peace, and tenderness; and bearing one with another, and forgiving one another, and not laying accusations one against another; but praying one for another, and helping one another up with a tender hand." Isaac Pennington, 1667
Surroundings - first experiences
If you are from a religious background, you may be used to a setting unlike the one that you will find here and at other Meetings. (Refer to the "pulpit")A Friend recently described his first Meeting by saying that he spent the first 10 minutes looking for the pulpit, then wondered where the preacher was, and decided that the person who stood and spoke was the "leader" but got very confused when, later, someone else also spoke!! After a while he settled down and has been coming ever since.
George Fox said, (C1659), "We need no mass for to teach us, and we need not your common prayer, for the Spirit...teacheth us how to pray, sing.. and give thanks..."
Some Meetings are held in rented rooms, the setting which will be similar to Meeting Houses - simple, with some flowers, or a candle and sometimes a copy of the Bible on the centre table. Quaker Meetings are not only for members, anyone who wishes to attend is warmly welcomed. I felt safe coming to my first Meeting as I knew that it was OK to come once only or to come many times!! I have been to meetings in Monkstown, Portadown, Limerick, Churchtown, Rathfarnham, Stocking Lane, Eustace Street in Dublin Bangor (Wales) and Berne (Switzerland). I felt at home at all of these meetings and recommend the experience of attending Meetings other than your local one. The Meeting in Bangor included some Welsh and any worries that others had for me that I could have difficulties at the Berne Meeting due to the language being French/German did not matter - it had not occurred to me that this would have been a barrier - but to my relief for the chatting part, the others spoke English.
Each Meeting varies in size - the Berne Meeting was 6 of us in a small rented room.
When does the Meeting start?
Adam spoke of this.
A Meeting begins when the first person arrives, sits down and waits quietly in the silence. Others will then come into the room and join in the stillness. There is a "settling down" period (called "centreing down" by early Friends) while we seek and wait for our still centre. This does not always come easily! Sometimes I find my inner stillness but later my mind will wander to everyday thoughts. When this happens I usually treat it as an "interruption" and settle back again, many times in some Meetings, while in others I may be still for most of the Meeting.
"Force may subdue, but Love gains; and he that forgives first, wins the laurel." William Penn 1693
Corporate Worship
Very soon after I started coming to Meeting, I noticed that while I arrived in Meeting on my own and waited for my inner stillness to arrive, something else was happening. I experienced it first and learnt what it was later. I found that I was in communication with all the people in the room. It never seemed strange to me to feel like this. It grew with the Meeting - and grew stronger in the silence. It happened during Meetings where I sat with strangers. It showed up in Ministry (which I talk about later), where I had a thought and someone stood and spoke of the very same topic that was in my head. I became aware of this "group dynamic" in my yoga class when we practiced a gentle form of Chi Gung as a group. When I practice this on my own at home the group dimension is missing. At the class, there is a connection between us which intensifies our experiences. The tingling in my fingers is stronger. This is but one example of how the Meeting for Worship is carried with me in the week and into my daily life.So it is in Meeting. I feel the Spirit through the others present. It is a communication between us - even if (and sometimes because!) the Meeting is silent. Therefore each Meeting is a unique experience, depending not only on what I bring into Meeting but on all other people attending - each and every one of them! I feel this experience as a sense of being held together by the love of the Spirit.
Jack Dobbs 1982: "The depth of Quaker worship, its richness, its power and its ability to meet the needs of each worshippers as well as the gathered group, depends on the commitment of every participant and on the way we all come to our meetings with our hearts and minds prepared"
Ministry
This is a topic which would take a full session (or more) to talk about and share experiences and views on! You have already heard Adam's account on it.As there is no programme for a Quaker Meeting, we do not know what will happen! What usually happens is that there may be a set reading (we have this in Monkstown) after about 10 minutes and then the silence continues. Then someone, anyone, stands and speaks for a few moments. The silence then continues. There may be a meeting with many spoke contributions or indeed a completely silent one - my first meeting was completely silent - mind you I think that I have only been at two other fully silent meeting since then!!
Geoffrey Hubbard, a Quaker writer mentioned by Adam, from his book, Quaker by Convincement: "Time passes, the bees hum against the windows, or perhaps the heavy rain beats down...." "In spoken Ministry we do not speak ourselves but from the guidance of God within us."
Ministry is a very difficult topic - in terms of description, experiences and knowing what exactly is happening. There is a lot written and discussed on what is good Minisitry, the "do's and dont's and other matters relating to Ministry. For me, these writing and discussions have and continue to be extremely helpful and two things stay constant:
..If I think too much about Ministry, I get intimidated and feel scared...
..It is definitely God that gets me on to my feet to speak, because I would not do it otherwise!!
Here are some examples of responses and views on Ministry, which should give you a picture of what is involved:
Experienced Friend: I was relieved when a very experienced public speaker, who is a Friend, confirmed that he is nervous before making a spoken Ministry...
New person: a bride (not a Quaker) gave a very moving Ministry at Monkstown Meeting House this summer. She said afterwards that she had no intention whatsoever to do this but that she found herself on her feet and speaking!
"The most valuable things said in Meeting are those that honestly reflect real experience and are expressed simply" (George Gorman)
A completely silent Meeting is tremendously satisfying, provided always that the silence is alive and creative.
Thomas Story (An early Friend): "...words could be wide ranging and include doctrine, exposition of the Holy Scriptures, reproof, instruction in morals or whatsoever..."
Thomas Kelly: "Words should not break the silence but continue it." (this quote helps me discern if I have a Ministry or if I am building a personal story!)
George Graham pays tribute to Friends who come and never speak: "they make a tremendous contribution to the silent worship by their deeply gathered silence. Their gentle, patient, receptivity of the vocal ministry of other Friends, whether or not it helps them, is a model to us all."
Junior Meeting
Adam has spoken of our Junior Meetings.This is part of our Meeting for Worship. Our current practice In Monkstown is that a Junior Meeting "teacher" will leave the main meeting after 10 or 15 minutes with any children (there is no set cut off age as this is a personal decision for the Young Friend, but generally about 15 or 16 years the Young Friends chose to stay in Meeting).
When I am with the Junior Meeting, I experience this as part of the
Meeting for Worship. Here are some comments from Young Friends on their
thoughts and experiences of Meeting for Worship:
I do not get bored as I do in other churches
Anyone can speak
I like the silence
Other places are very loud with too much "standing up and sitting down"!
I find it very peaceful
It's ok to miss some Sundays
The gaps give me time to think
I wish that I could start everyday with a quiet period like this where I get to think and connect to the peace within me
We also have some special occasions during the year which the Young Friends get involved with, the main ones are The Hungry Lunch (A fundraiser for Goal), The Harvest Festival and The Christmas Carols. These are special occasions - and very much a living experience of Meeting for Worship - and here we have some music and singing!! I did not leave that behind me on becoming a Quaker!!
A Funny story which captures the "outward appearance" of meeting very well:
A Friend was in Canada last year, on holiday with her niece, a very open chatty person. The Friend explained to her niece that she would like to attend a Meeting for Worship during her stay so the niece did some research and found a local Meeting for her aunt. The aunt commuted to the meeting and returned about 2 hours later. Her niece asked her, "what exactly happened at your meeting" The aunt outlined what had happened, the mainly silent meeting for one hour, followed by tea and chat. The niece responded, "you mean to tell me that you went into a room full of strangers, you all sat in silence for an hour, and you then had tea and chatted for ages? You are crazy!!"
Conclusion
What was my aim for this evening? It was to share my experience with you, whether you are here for the first time or interested in attending a Meeting, or are already a Quaker or attender , in which case your experiences are vaster than mine and I continue to learn from you and thank you for this.I leave you some words from Seán Ó Ríordáin, from his poem Ní Cheadmhach Neamhshuim, which speaks of our responsibility for each other and for our environment and tells us that "Disinterest is not permissible". This poem "speaks to my condition", (A Quaker phrase) and reminds me to listen to the still light within me.
"Dá fhaid uainn Afraic Theas,
Dá airde í gealach,
Is cuid din iad ó cheart:
Níl áit ar fuaid na cruinne
Nach ann a saolaíodh sinne."
Seán Ó Ríordáin (1916 -1977)
My translation is:
No matter how far away South Africa is from us,
No matter how high the moon,
They are rightly part of us,
There is no place anywhere on our planet
That we were not born